Give UpShe wanted a freeze button, a pause button, a wait-and-come-back-later button.But such a button did not exist, so she settled for the next best thing.A stop button, a quit button, a give up button.And when she pressed it, her life snapped off, and that was the end of the 21st Century girl.
Carnationsit smells of death and cigarettes and flowers. people are muttering apologies to a smooth wooden box. i am busy talking to air.i half expected him to be here, standing here, making people laugh instead of cry. that was his talent - laughing. mine is disappearing. no one notices as i wallflower my way to the back of the room, then slip out into an unfair, unair-conditioned reality.the sun is shining outside. i can hear it as it mocks death. cicadas chirp, people are smoking, and the world is still spinning - clearly it has yet to receive the memo i sent.he was supposed to be here. i sit on the curb, playing with ants, waiting for him to show up. he's the whole reason we're having this party (if you can even call it that). i wait for him to drive up from the carpet shop in a shiny silver car. every time a silver car rushes past on the road, i cross my fingers, hoping it'll realize it made a wrong turn and then it will come back and he'll get out and everything will be ok.e
DeliveryThe breeze carries memoriesWrapped in silk and tied with bowsTelling stories of somewhere else,A place nobody knows.
LightOnce upon a timeI traveled through the tunnelInto the lightJust to see what was there.And what I foundWas a dim little lamp.
Pretty GirlI'm pretty, right?
No?Well, let me eat lessAnd tan more,Burn my hair to make it straightAnd spend all my money on clothes.[Am I pretty now?]
FamousIf I become a famous poet,I won't be remembered.[But you will be]
She Saw a Shooting StarShe was a girl of romantic ideasAnd idealistic dreams,Falling apartWhen her 11:11 wishesDidn't come true
Bad DreamsI've been having nightmares about reality.
Morning RoutineShe wakes up to dew-drop kisses,Tasting of coffee and sleep.She drifts outside on the morning breeze,Looking at the pink sunrise cloudsAnd breathing in cool, crisp air.Leaves dance around herAnd rabbits run to their holesAs rush-hour traffic rushes pastCreating sonic booms in silence.She brushes her feathersAnd takes flight,Beginning the rest of her life.
UntitledDear me, The girl you loved isn’t that person anymore. Is everything what you thought it would be? You need to understand that she’ll never be the same again. Are you happy with yourself? You only love her because you remember what she used to be.Forget her.
SinkingShe was the ocean-eyed girl, spending her time weaving intricate stories while sitting in front of the TV. The TV was her life. There she traveled to the moon, to Egypt, to a world where everything was perfect in its own imperfect way. Drama was dramatized in the TV. Families were perfect in the TV. People won big in the TV.So she watched, and her eyes were drained of the ocean and eventually died, dragging her with them.Because she didn't know she was sinking into the world of lies and flashing lights, which whispered stories in the night, beckoning to come a little closer, listen a little harder. And eventually, her world changed to pixels. But she didn't mind.After all, who doesn't prefer life in HD?
The Catholic AtheistShe says angels are the ugliest creatures. She tells me they're undeniably perfect, an adjective we strive to attain in our world, only to find we are ignorant when it comes to knowing the true meaning.She says they're so aesthetically beautiful that our eyes bleed when we see them. She is certain they are the reason why the blind can't see.She says our ears ring when we hear their voices, loud and clear in the night. She swears they are the reason why the deaf can't hear.She says our hearts shatter into a one thousand and six hundred seventy-nine pieces when we touch them, and then are quickly reconstructed using a hot glue gun. She is sure they are why the lovers are suffering.She says angels are why the world is full of sin and pain and loss and death. She knows this to be the truth, as she sits there, broken wings fluttering and halo crooked atop her head, and I cannot argue with her.
Got YouThey say there's plenty of fish in the seaAnd some sharks and some dolphins too,But as I'm drifting right alongI can't help but think of you.So let me cast my golden rodFar and deep beneath the blue,And maybe I'll catch a better fishThat'll make my dreams come true.
Worth a Thousand WordsShe painted allof her essays.
Until TomorrowAt the end, I'll be there.
StarsThey make me wonderWhy I feel so alone.
Valentine's Day Gone WrongToday is Valentine's Day.I'm single, still.Not that I especially need a boyfriend,But there's a reason Valentine's DayHas also been dubbed"Single's Awareness Day".I can't help but think of youWhen I think of today.After I broke up with you,I went through my room to remove all the things you'd given me.I couldn't even remember it all,You'd given me so much.I took away the colorful popsicle stick boxYou said you made for me,With all those lovely neon colors.I don't know where you could have gotten popsicle sticksQuite that impressive.Then I foundThat dolphin
thing.You know, the one that looked like it was carved into clay?It had four or five dolphins jumping into the air,Just as the ocean swelled beneath them.I wrapped that into a brown paper bagAnd stuffed it into the trashcan in the laundry room.I broke apart the popsicle box, hiding that through the trash too,So my mom wouldn't see them.I trashed the necklace, the beads, the seashells
And then my
forgetfulnessit's easy to forget, to be in the moment and you just start laughing along with everyone else and then you get the hang of it, smiling and talking and giggling. you're having a good time, right? there's nothing wrong, your mind tells you. you aren't exhausted from another night of staring at the ceiling, imaginary ghosts terrorizing your thoughts. you are perfectly fine, just like you should be. and then you remember. your remember that everything is not okay and maybe it's because of something someone said, that you suddenly remember that you are really sad, falling off into the deep end.you know the feeling- it's like someone just stabbed a knife into your heart, deflating it like a balloon, all the air rushing out at once, leaving you breathless, lifeless. your breath falters for a moment, your eyes zeroing in on some random object, your mind flying to somewhere beyond outer space, beyond anyone's reach. your heart starts beating wildly in your ribcage, fighting against the bars, a
BlurDo you love me?Do you not?Must I wonder 'till I rot?If you do, you won't regretAnd if you tell me, I won't forget.
Thumping"Ow! What was that for?!""Dunno."
The Fake And Me.The Fake And MeI look in the mirror and I seeA girl who looks just like meBut she smiles and I cryAnd she's the truth and I'm a lieShe's all together and I'm a messShe's happy and I'm depressedBut she's doesn't know how I feelCoz she is fake and I am real
An Alphabet of DepressionAn Alphabet of DepressionA is for Apathy, when you really dont careB is for Blackness, when you sink in despair.C is for Cutting, you do it with knivesD is for Drugs, its how to take lives.E is for Empty, when youre all hollowed outF is for Feelings, got to figure them outG is for Guilty, thats how you feelH is for Helping, a way you can healI is for Isolation, youre all on your ownJ is for Joyless, its all just a droneK is for Kindness, it makes you more sadL is for Life, a thing you once hadM is for Morbid, the thoughts in your headN is for Neglecting, too much and youre deadO is for Oppression, its all just too muchP is for Poison, cyanide and suchQ is for Queer, the looks that you getR is for Rorschach, the blots make you fretS is for Silence, the sounds that you hearT is for Torment, which wont stop your fearU is for Unloved, a description of youV is for Vapid, those preaching renewW is for Worsen,
Let Me DieBroken heartedhere I liepush me downand watch me crybreak my wingsso I can't flyI'm here aloneSo watch me die
Life Is Not a FairytaleLife is not a fairytale.My prince will never come.The frogs in the pond are lifeless.The beasts are vicious and dumb.Towers are only used for working.There are no woods to hide in.I will not meet a strangerTo whom I can confide in.Magic does not exist.Animals don't talk or help.Godmothers are only for gift-giving,Not coming every time you yelp.It's too bad that only foolish thingsCan bring someone to you.Like appearance or makeup,Or perfect eyes of blue.Evil rulesAnd good fails.That's just the way it is.Or is it?
ConversationsSometimes, I swear, we seem to have nothing to talk about.We're like a dry forest,Dead and silent, but a single spark,And we're up in flames.There are days when I get the feeling we're carrying on two conversations.You're talking about one thing,Me another,And we're just taking turns.Most of the time though,We talk constantly.We never start conversations anymore.We just start somewhere in the middle,Or where we left off last,And we both seem to know exactly what we're talking about.I almost never have to explain myself,You always seem to know what I'm saying,Even if it's the random babble I have a habit of blurting out.I have to say,I've never had a friendship quite like ours.I'll be honest,I hope that we beat outThe majority of people who use the phrase"Best Friends Forever"By actually staying friends,Even though we've never used that phraseTo describe our friendship.But you've got me too stuck in reality,To put a whole lot of hopeInto that idea.
SmileSmile,Because they're watching.Smile,Even if it causes you to break.Smile,Because they're looking this way.They expect you to be happy.Aren't you happy?You must be happy, you have so much.Even though there is so much more,Few can look beyond the sunAnd into the horizon.Smile,Because they're watching.Smile,Even if it causes you to break.Smile,Because they're looking this way.All I want I can't want.All I need I can't need.All I have I can't have.All I am I can't be.They decided all this for me.They took me and whittled me down,Into something they can expect,Into something they can understand,Into something that is less than them.I'm on the wrong side of the line,Through pure misfortune and bad timing.Smile,Because they're watching.Smile,Even if it causes you to break.Smile,Because they're looking this way.Maybe, if I smile,If they think I haven't broken,They'll give up.I know it's hopeless.But I can't stop,I cling to this, because it's all I have
Please, Push me AwayI'm starting to n-e-e-d you,I'm starting to depend on you.& I'm starting to want you way more then I already do.From my past, I know that this feeling is dangerous,& All that's going to come out of this is b/r-ok/e-n hearts and salty tears, I'm going to hurt you, &
WishesI wish on stop signsAnd kisses,Warm blanketsAnd coffee.[Because stars always have been a bit overrated]